Those of you who are on Facebook have no doubt been exposed to any number of the chain-letter-style lists, quizzes and questionnaires that circulate that site like a school of predatory sharks feeding off the lost productivity of the world’s online culture. I’m a total sucker for the short, goofy quizzes that will tell me – usually in 8 questions or less – the color of my Aura (green) or what type of character I am in Lord of the Rings (a Ranger).

Generally, I’ve stayed away from the more involved questionnaires and lists. I didn’t publish a “25 Random Things About Me” list or check off all the books I’ve read on the BBC’s Greatest 200 Books of All Time list. I don’t know if it’s that these longer items max out my capacity for Facebook narcissism (not likely) or if I’m just too lazy to be bothered. Whatever the case, this recent one piqued my curiosity and since it relates to Wilder, I decided to go ahead and fill it out and share it here with you all.

The instructions read: “Copy this note, ask your kids the questions and write them down exactly how they respond.” So, here we go. Wilder’s responses are in quotes. My editorial comments are in italics…

1. What is something mom always says to you?

“Wait a second.”

It’s true; this is often the first thing out of my mouth when Wilder asks me for anything. Sigh.

2. What makes mom happy?

“[Me] snuggling her.”

3. What makes mom sad?

“Uh…” Wilder leans in and whispers, “Will you tell me?” No, I say. “Um… uh… hitting.”

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

“Telling me very, very funny jokes.”

5. What was your mom like as a child?

“A cool kid.”

6. How old is your mom?

“I don’t remember.”

7. How tall is your mom?

“100 pounds? Is that right?”

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

“Play… with me.”

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

This one got a blank stare for a while, as if the concept of my existence outside of him was challenging. Then, after some thought…

“Work?”

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

“Nothing.”

11. What is your mom really good at?

“Writing words that I don’t know. How to write.”

I think he is impressed that I’m touch typing his answers as quickly as he is saying them out loud. He keeps asking me, “Did you write what I said? Is that what that [on the screen] says?”

12. What is your mom not very good at?

“Doing the things that *I* can do.”

13. What does your mom do for her job?

“Work!” Said with a “well, duh!” kind of attitude.

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

“Spicy food.”

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

“When she reads me stories.”

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

“Lightening The Queen.”

I have no idea why I’m a character from Cars! Someday, he’s going to figure out that it’s McQueen and not The Queen. In the meantime, I like to imagine that Pixar was being subversive when they named this character.

17. What do you and your mom do together?

“Snuggle.”

18. How are you and your mom the same?

“We both have light skin.”

19. How are you and your mom different?

“Because we have the different color hair.”

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

“I don’t know…” and then after a lot of thought, “Because she’s proud of me?”

I am telling myself that this was a hard question for him because he takes my love for granted, like air or gravity.

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

“Zak’s Hamburgers.”

Actually, this would be Wilder’s favorite place. There is no spicy food at Zak’s.