Wilder: Momma, come throw the ball for me!!!

 

Me: Not right now, I'm cleaning up.

 

Wilder: COME THROW THE BALL FOR ME RIGHT NOWWWWWWW!

 

Me: Wilder, I've been playing with you all day long. Now I'm going to take a few minutes and clean up the living room.

 

Wilder: Mamma, you make me really frustrated. 

So, we returned last night after a week in Oregon to a message on our answering machine from the Washington Department of Early Childhood Learning.  Wilder's day care was shut down by the state last Thursday for ongoing non-compliance with licensing regulations.  It seems the woman who ran the day care was present in the mornings and evenings (during drop-off and pick up) but gone most of the rest of the day, leaving the kids in the care of her inadequately trained staff.

I am reeling with the news that I have to find a new day care. That is no small feat in this town.

I am also wondering what is wrong with me that I willingly left my child at this place, deemed unsafe for children, 3 days a week, most weeks, for the past 24 months.

Perhaps I should feel grateful that we dodged a bullet and that Wilder is too smart to try and eat Draino or make a break for it out the front door when the undertrained and overwhelmed staff isn’t watching.

I am positive that next time around, I will be more mindful of any apprehension I feel when dropping Wilder off for a day of child care and not just assume those feelings are guilt for sometimes putting my own wants and needs ahead of his clear desire to always stay home with me. 

I can think of worse ways to have the lesson driven home that one should trust one's instincts when parenting and that if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.